The door opened and the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen (not that I have seen many) stood right in front of me. I must have stared at her with a sheepish grin on my face for a couple of seconds when she decided to say something and her voice sounded like Celine Dion’s voice to my ears.
Njideka: Hello. Lomew, right?
Me: (nodded)
Njideka: Well, aren’t you going to come in?
Me: Oh. Why not? Of course.
I pushed myself in. She closed the door and came in ahead of me. I spotted the wardrobe and went to drop my bag. I turned to face her sitting on the mattress/bed.
Me: so, what’s your name?
Njideka: Njideka
Me: Nice to meet you Njideka. I guess you already know my name.
Njideka: Yea, nice to meet you too. So how’s your journey?
Me: Journey ke? You make it sound as if I came all the way from Lagos. Let’s just say that the ride was okay- no addition, no subtraction.
Njideka: Anyways, when I heard you were coming, I thought I should welcome you with better food.
So I made rice with stew and pounded yam with soup., so that you’ll choose the one you will like to eat.
Me: Wow!! How did you know I like pounded yam?
Njideka: (laughs) I didn’t. Just what my spirit asked me to make.
Me: Well, in that case, I elevate you from girlfriend to wife. My brother must marry you. If he dosen’t, I will.
She laughed and said I wasn’t serious.
I stripped to my briefs ready to go and have my bath. I caught her eyes on time before she quickly removed them. She muttered some things, picked her bag and left.
After she had left, I bathed and put on some of my new briefs I bought. Inside the kitchen, I contemplated on which food to eat. I finally settled for the pounded yam, (make I guzzle am first before my brother comes back and the story no go dey sweet to tell).
As I was eating, I whipped out my BB and pinged my wegrey friend Joshua.
Me: Mad man, how far?
Joshua: Idiot, when then go pity you dash you small sense? Where you dey? You don go see your boss?
Me: Mehn, I don land IMSU oo
Joshua: No be small thing oo. How the babes that side?
Me: Sha, I neva see plenty but them try oo. O boy, you need to see my brother’s gf. Uh lala ! that girl carry something, she fight mehn.
Joshua: Hold your breath small. Clarify me. Shey na your brother gf u dey describe like that?
Me: Yes? Wetin happen?
Josh: You and your brother dey do strafe-and- share?
Me: Why you dey ask me that kin question?
Josh: Ehe na. Make I know na. Bcos the way wey you take describe am I know say your mind don enter am.
Me: Guy, leave matter. The girl make sense. Mehn she gather.
Josh: No joke
Me: Gburu Gburu. Shey na lik that una de talk all round? And guess what?
Josh: Wetin
Me: I caught her starring at my abs as I was about to hit the shower.
Josh: Gbagan !
Me: Ghen Ghen!
Josh: Guy no dull oo. Show dem say you be small boy with bigger swag
Me: TaaH! Who you dey call small boy?
Josh: See this one oo. No dey give yourself false hope simply because say you go visit someone for campus. Na me and you still dey hustle for admission o.
Me: You no well.
Merry Christmas to you all. Enjoy the rest of the days of 2015 with blessings.
Josh: Well, since she don de check you out, I suggest you runs her codedly.
Me: How?
Josh: Collect her number and start reasoning with her.
Me: How I go take collect her number? She has already left.
Josh: What’s her name?
Me: Njideka.
Josh: Use your head and search for the name your brother use save her number with on his fone.
Me: And?
Josh: Use style let her know what’s up. If she is that kinda gal, she will catch the vibe sharp sharp.
Me: Hmmm. So you’re sending me to go and runs my brother’s gf abi?
Josh: Haa. No be me send you oo. Na ordinary idea I de give you oo. By the way, no forget my matter. As you de flex your own there, no forget to de give me some controls too.
I finished eating, cleaned up and went to the kitchen to drop the plates. When I came back to my phone I saw Josh’s message.
Josh: Dude, I hope say you didn’t just read my message and ignored it now?
Me: Calm your titties. Your blood too de hot. I go drop plates for kitchen. So wetin you de yarn sef?
Josh: I said gimme some campus controls na.
Me: If I give you, wetin you go use am do?
Josh: I go runs them na.
Me: For your papa house abi na for where?
Josh: Guy, shey I don warn you say anytime you wan yab me, give me notification in advance?
Me: Later joor. I wan go do something for bathroom.
Josh: Wanker!
I was watching a movie when my brother came back. I stood and we hugged. After the normal pleasantries and questions about people at home, he started removing his cloths. All of a sudden, he began to sniff around.
Isinke: Lomew?
Me: What?
Isinke: (gave me one kain eye). Who was here with you?
Me: Nobody. Your girlfriend left some hours ago. I have been alone since then.
Isinke: Did you two do anything together?
Me: Haba! No. Why all these kurukere questions?
Isinke: Well, here is smelling cum cum.
Me: Oh, sorry about that. I only lomew’d myself.
Isinke: (laughed so hard). So you still de do self-mechanization? You go wound oo.
Me: If I hear! As if you no de do am.
When Isinke went to the kitchen to find something he’ll eat, I scrolled through his phone contacts, searched for ‘Njideka’, it didn’t show. I tried ‘bae’, a number appeared. I copied it to my phone to try it later.
After he had eaten, he took us to a joint called ‘Orange Groove’ at IMSU Junction. When we entered, three of his guy friends joined us. I ordered for Smirnoff Ice and started sipping it and at the same time checking out the girls who were in the place.
Some minutes later, a group of four beautiful, cokeastic, tantalizing, crunchies and Mr Biggish ladies waltzed in. I lost my concentration for a moment. It was when they sat at our table that I recognized her – Njideka. I secretly brought out my phone, hid my number and flashed the number I copied. I cut the call immediately she whipped her phone out of her hand bag and answered. She muttered something about fools who go about flashing other people with private numbers. After I had been introduced to them, one of the guys taunted me about my choice of drink. I decided to form Commando and asked for a red
wine and Legend Extra Stout. No be me go carry last for here. When the drink started to enter my left brain, I decided it was time I started giving Njideka small green-light.
But I was totally unprepared for what happened next…
To be continued….




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